i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
