You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
