Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
