I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
