I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
