Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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