she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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