haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
