That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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