Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
