He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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