This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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