He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
