Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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