P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
