We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
