i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize