Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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