You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
As shirtless as possible
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize