He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
