wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
