Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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