you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
