Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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