Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
