I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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