Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
