Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Floor bacon is actually really good
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