thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
