i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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