And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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