Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
