I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
