Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
