I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
