Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
P.S. I can't hear my feet
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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