Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
