it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
