I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
