Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
