Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
