So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
