Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
