Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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