this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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