hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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