I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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