Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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