i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
