At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
