So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize