Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
