Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
