Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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