Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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