Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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