i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
