The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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