He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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