They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize