he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
