Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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